Fetish

Friday, June 06, 2008

Ah yes. So I have been to Bangkok and back. And an added $2000 added trip to the hospital.
Argh. Eugh. A suspected case of appendicitis and food poisioning combined.
I was admitted and yes it was my first ; stayin in a hospital. several injections, on drips, CT scan, the 'gorgeous sleek and chiq' blue gown likened to those of Vera Wang.(pahhhh)
Ok my feeble and pathetic attempt at a joke again.

Trip was good. i anticipate one with the girl friends!
yeahp, it was jus me and my cousin. two females. nothing to worry about. other than stupit annoyin dumbwits of taxi drivers who simply jus DO NOT switch on their meters and jus quote you off hand prices.
right . lookin forward to my hongkong one next and perhaps NEW YORK very much later in the year to visit the cousin. certainly with extra caution for my sensitive stomach.

Okay, on a more serious note ...
I have been contemplating to shut the blog for good. I agree . with my readers(action ah), that my posts have become rather 'cryptic' , or 'codeish'.
God knows why. And furthermore, its turning out to become a habitual platform of angst blast.

So I almost got down to deleting it about a week back, when I went to previous posts, and I realised that this blog has been around since 2004! wow.
4 years. but only 261 posts to date.
And so i read the posts, and I laughed at my innocence(i'd like to believe so), my immaturity and my silly silly daily happenings.
I havent read them all yet. It was gettin abit dreary and tiring. They all sounded the same, what I did, what friends I needed to say hi to .
I havent read the later posts in about these 2 years. And I m sure they have evolved abit more. For better for worse I dont know.

I never meant for this blog to be a world-awakening one, a society-challenging one. Neither did I want it to be bimbotically silly. But yes, I did express certain of my principles , certain values which I stand strongly for and I did reinstate my stand on several issues.

But I do know that, there are people who are reading this blog , and it somehow is a connection from you to me, even though you dont talk to me.
It has been and still is. Some of you slip in and out of my life, and this blog is perhaps the only non ego-fufilling way of maintainin contact with me or our memories.

I appreciate it. I really do. And sometimes, no, actually ALL the times, when someone says I read your blog , I read this, Or yeah I know this through your blog, trust me, I am sincerely touched from the bottom of my heart. Fear not, I don't think you are any stalker. Because I know I am no fantastic engaging writer. And you took the effort (or maybe you just kaypoh kaypoh abit ah.hah!)

So , I'd like to thank all of you , for acknowledging that I exist somehow still in your lives and an extra HUGE thank you to those who always check on me after an angsty post, have my blog as your favourite page,or even on your desktop, (but not my new hp number?)

I am not going through a personality overhaul nor I am in depression mode . I am just ,well , perhaps growing up abit more .
And realising that certain things need to be revalued... And certain aspects of my life which I wish to change or can do without.

I will leave the blog for a while . Probably I will delete it after I have read all the posts. And perhaps I wont .

But this will be my last blogpost. And if you sincerely want to keep in contact with me, please just do it. I will always say this, because I truly believe it ; that ego should never come between a friendship or a relationship.
I have tried, and sometimes, you just need two hands to clap. So to those who still insist on being backstage , I virtually shake ur hand (I just have to be LAME abit) and say goodbye.

to those of you who have been always there, I am not oblivious.

Biscuitboy (used to ah)
Ashwhiny(I wont forgot how you set up this whole blog for me)
Pravind
Yoga
Candyman
Thank you

To those of you who I dont know and you peek in at times, hello?Maybe you could say hi. In real-life. And of course, to those who I have angered through the blog, (some loser wanting to beat me up and all), oh well. I wont say sorry , because what I said, I meant. And yes, the NEW msn add is satoishini@hotmail.com .

'What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories' -George Eliot(1819-1880)

Shini : 3:57 PM