Fetish

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Rite.

I am supposed to be doin the bitch of school work. But yes, online temptations.

Yes, as some of my dear friends have realised, I have come to a point where I enjoy hearing stuff said about me. Bad stuff. Yes, and from people who probably have no clue where I am studyin, or what is seriously the real spelling of my full name.
Sinc e them secondary school days till now, friend's brother who just had a mere glance of me, friend's auntie, tom, dickhead and hairy.

Yes.
So yesterday was another interesting day.
I have been termed the 'Betrayer'.

Yes, have I in keling terms, backstabbed anyone of late? I wonder.
The reason why I have been termed as such : It is because I ignored someone's long liking for me and went on to be in a relationship.

Let me tell you this. To you or your dear FRIENDS who seriously should learn to get a life and stop harrassing girlfriends.

I have my reasons for doing things.
I KNOW that going into a relationship out of pity,sympathy is FOOLISH. It's silly. And liking a person just because that person likes you is not going to make the relationship any better.
If I am gonna have these reasons for getting into a relationship with you, lemme tell you straight POINT BLANK= the relationship will not last.
And really, I would rather save us both the pain NOW then later.

I am not denying any fact that you are a gem of a guy. That solely is NOT sufficient to bring any relationship far. and i KNOW that.
I know you think of everyone before yourself. And you will give me my way if we ever had a relationship. That alone is NOT going to bring us both anywhere.
I know you have been there at times . That is why I gave our friendship significant importance and did not shy u away.

I am not justifying myself.
I am just telling all of you I HAVE MY REASONS for doing what i do.
And I seriously find no need to explain this to anybody.
Especially to your friends who cant keep their hands still and can ruthlessly treat a girl.

I am the only one who knows HOW my mind works.

I am not sayin I am perfect, coz BULLSHIT to perfection .
If I make mistakes, I want it to be MY mistakes.
Then only will I learn.
I am not saying the relationship I am having now is perfect,flawless and will stretch beyond all deep blue seas and freakin high skies.

I chose this decision and I will live by it, through the repurcussions.

There are people who have been in relationship for eons, 6yrs, 3yrs blah blah. I have heard MANY experiences. And i have come to realise.
Quantity is just a surface gauge of the relationship. So many stay on in the relationship despite shit and lack of feelings just for the sake of not losing face and for the time period; all in the end to entangle themselves in more problems.

I will live by the moment and whatever memories I have with him, I will keep it close.
Obviously we all love the word 'forever' but what holds for us in the future, I dont know.
This is a decision I took . And yes, only I have the RIGHT to question it.

On a rather random note,
Suhaidah wants me to talk about her in my blog. Shameless lar my friends.TSK.
So I sent off Naga last Friday, bought her a rose, to find out she cant bring flowers.
Yes My dear chindian friend, I am gonna miss you.
I had a very fun 2 years because of these two lasses.
I will never forget our dance practices in the toilet and our umpteen kachowings with Suhaidah. (Boobass)
And all our bitching moments. And yes, I hope you both get what you really want in lives. 'Cause you girls deserve it.

This weekend is gonna be so hectic.
I have a dance performance, a birthday invitation to partay (which I am considering), and a naming ceremony for a baby boy!
I want to wear my satin heels and I have to buy some make-up. BobbiBrown & Red Earth.
Am deciding to go temple or shopping on Friday night as I have considerably quite a few things to get.
Slippers for dad, (yes we both slipped on our way back from breakfast on Sunday and laughed at each other) , Kutty's present, chain for me :) .

Oh yes, I just got my Ben&Jerrys. Chocolate Brownie.
God, if they could come up with such orgasmic concotions, imagine them in bed.
Hah.

Tomorrow is my interview. I know while some people are praying that I dont get the overseas CIP project, I am prayin that I do.
Its 20 days and boy its gonna be one helluva test of my endurance to stay away from home.
Yeap 20 days in Thailand to teach Kids english.
If I get it , I will dish out more details.

I am going to start my service at the Tent soon too.

So its gonna be a wild wild time.
But it doesnt give you the concession to just assume that I am busy and not ask me out.
*Stares at Paulo.

Shini : 8:58 PM