Fetish

Monday, June 06, 2005

so tell me wat do u want from me?

firstly to U.
the ones i have known since i was born..
do u want me to bleach myself.
shall i go for extreme makeover.
and have extensive usage of 'ma'ams and please and excuse mes?

so wat do u want?
for me to be a meek lil lamb and nod my head to everythin u say.
for me to not utter a word of disagreement.
for me to beautiful like the rest of u.

u think i like to be this way?
to look like the odd one out EVERY FUCKIN TIME we go out?
u think i like it.
when u criticise me?
when i HAVE to be an object or topic of mockery each time we go out?
u think i like it when ppl actually ignore my existence.
u think i like it when u acutally acknowledge their beauty and make me feel like an ugly bitch when i was growin up?
u think i dint cry when i was young?
that despite my dresses and stockings, NO ONE ever thought i was pretty?
no one ever called me princess?
because of the pure fact i was born late?
and perhaps dark as well.

and to those.
wat do u want from me?
a small lil plea and a hug everyday?
u think i fuckin like to be this way?
to always have disagreements.
to always know things from another person.
and to have issues wif ALL OF U?!
to MAKE DA FIRST MOVE all da BLARDY sickenin chee bye time?

wat do u want from me?
lil cookies wrapped up in cellophane paper?
me chantin mantras of 'i love u'.
u think i like it when some other chick comes up to tell me that u dono how to talk to me, or u think its weird?!
u kno i m sick. I have heard it so many times.

wat do u want from me?
more smses? callin u everyday?
shall i camp outside ur house?
shall i dump all my other frenz?
shall i forget them? and LIVE in sorrow that u are not spendin enough time wif me?

wat do u want from me?
a dejected heart? tears ?
a freakin conference hall meetin? so we can talk it all out and things maybe wont be so weird?

wat do u want from me?
to plan more outings ? so that u can cancel them ? or better still, be not even BOTHERED to ask or enquire more abt it?

wat do u want from me? to run away from the obvious?
to build fairytales? to keep sayin i LOVE U ?

shall i change myself SOme more?! even more? to suit ur needs?
after all, since DAY 1 , its been ME ME AND ME ONLY.

after all since DAY 1, i have no feelings or troubles of my own.
after all since DAY 1, u dun need to be beside me. but its certainly a BIG crime if i m not there when u are in shit.

i love u khomi.
and i love u vish.
and to those e.g, yoga ....
who read my blog, and actually call me, sms me and ask me wats wrong.
u dono how much it means.
and to those who read it and make their own inferences and talk ard.

and a note, i dont hate u.

but one thing.. i have reflected, change, thought abt it.
and u kno wat THIS IS ME.
i m not dumb. none of u know me.
and how deep my thoughts run.

and to the asshole who raised his voice at me,
my dear, i dun care if u are 45 years old,
ur hell starts from now.
to begin with, u had 2% repsect from me
and now u lost it.
ur profound usage of language might stump my gramma and might have blinded ma aunt,
but it doesnt work wif me this way buddy.
well i m sorry u hairy orang utan,
coz u will regret ur sorry ass u ever did that.

and i dint choose this blog coz the gal had a sexy dress or she had long hair.
i chose it for a reason.

THANKS FOR MAKING ME A FIGHTER.

every move u make to make me fall,i rise twice.

Shini : 10:54 PM